I haven’t posted anything in ages, shame on me, shame on me! One of the reasons might be the fact I haven’t been home much, at least not with time to think about anything not University-related.
So, a couple of weeks ago I went back to where my heart was. I was really scared of it, thinking that very likely I wouldn’t be able to go back to Berlin without falling into deep depression.
Getting to NYC I was thrilled and excited, with a sense of something big happening. Approaching Manhattan on the plane I started crying, like I had finally found my great love and we were going to be happily ever after. Euphoria lasted until I got into the cab that was supposed to bring me “home” . Sleazy MoFo was trying to fuck me over for $ at the tollbooth and I got slightly disappointed. Getting out of the cab, I realized it was really really cold in NY, nothing like the 25 degrees in Berlin.
Slowly realisation kicked in the the cold wasn’t only temperature.
My beloved NY who I thought I knew so well, was in fact a coldhearted, cheap, dirty egomaniac who turns everyone into neurotic psychopaths!!!
And my heart, my happy, fuzzy, little heart, jumped right into my bag and said: “Take me to Berlin! That’s where I’ve been wanting to go for a year now! And you stupid girl just left me here!”
So I did. But before, I calmed my heart down a little bit and spoiled it by buying some adorable dresses and eating a lot of happy food. We bid farewell to NY, the places, people, smells and sounds of the busy streets and went home.
H-O-M-E.
Home is now a strange big city where people speak with a funny dialect and are über-cool.
Home is the place where I have a lovely apartment and a nice, comfy couch to sit on and write.
Home is where I study and when I look at my University I feel a sense of pride.
Home is where people’s behavior confuses me yet I feel utterly rooted in the way of life.
Home is where my heart made a little jump because Anna picked me up from the airport and lit a cigarette for me.
Home is where I light my candles and forget to wash the dishes.
Home is where my heart is, and that is now officially BERLIN.
Welcome heart, it feels really good to have you here.
