I’ve got my heart back!

I haven’t posted anything in ages, shame on me, shame on me! One of the reasons might be the fact I haven’t been home much, at least not with time to think about anything not University-related. 

So, a couple of weeks ago I went back to where my heart was. I was really scared of it, thinking that very likely I wouldn’t be able to go back to Berlin without falling into deep depression. 

Getting to NYC I was thrilled and excited, with a sense of something big happening. Approaching Manhattan on the plane I started crying, like I had finally found my great love and we were going to be happily ever after. Euphoria lasted until I got into the cab that was supposed to bring me “home” . Sleazy MoFo was trying to fuck me over for $ at the tollbooth and I got slightly disappointed. Getting out of the cab, I realized it was really really cold in NY, nothing like the 25 degrees in Berlin. 

Slowly realisation kicked in the the cold wasn’t only temperature. 

My beloved NY who I thought I knew so well, was in fact a coldhearted, cheap, dirty egomaniac who turns everyone into neurotic psychopaths!!!

And my heart, my happy, fuzzy, little heart, jumped right into my bag and said: “Take me to Berlin! That’s where I’ve been wanting to go for a year now! And you stupid girl just left me here!” 

So I did. But before, I calmed my heart down a little bit and spoiled it by buying some adorable dresses and eating a lot of happy food. We bid farewell to NY, the places, people, smells and sounds of the busy streets and went home. 

H-O-M-E. 

Home is now a strange big city where people speak with a funny dialect and are über-cool.

Home is the place where I have a lovely apartment and a nice, comfy couch to sit on and write.

Home is where I study and when I look at my University I feel a sense of pride. 

Home is where people’s behavior confuses me yet I feel utterly rooted in the way of life. 

Home is where my heart made a little jump because Anna picked me up from the airport and lit a cigarette for me. 

Home is where I light my candles and forget to wash the dishes. 

Home is where my heart is, and that is now officially BERLIN. 

Welcome heart, it feels really good to have you here. 

 

my heart is where it ususally is…

I just made myself a smoothie with my new blender and a moca à la Mud and I never even knew how much I missed my NY breakfast flavors… I am literally sitting here with tears in my eyes because I miss it so much. 

I want my apartment back, I want my friends back, I want to be able to go eat at 4 am, hell, I even miss my deli-guy!

I am so scared of coming to visit because it will be like the most beautiful one-night-stand with the ex you still love but he doesn’t love you. 

It is March and I have been gone for a year. I was planning to be back  since 6 months already by now!

So what I want to say is:

New York, I love you and I miss you. And considering that Berlin is the new you, I still can’t get over you. 

My thoughts circle around you night and day and when a friend mentions your name my stomach tightens up and it hurts. 

I miss your noises and bad odor, I miss the way you scare me sometimes. 

I miss the Magnolia tree on 9th street which probably by now has some tiny green buds. 

I miss the rush of happiness that went through my body everytime I came back to you. 

I miss my friends who wanted to stay up all night with me, talking and rehearsing. 

There is a reason your name is inked into my skin.

NYC lego

Sometimes other people do your work for you, better than you ever could – Christoph Niemann seems to miss NY just as dearly as I do. Which is why he made these little lego versions of elsewhere

 

Christoph Niemann NYC lego

Check out the rest of these funny things at: 

http://niemann.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/02/i-lego-ny/

blue skies

Oh, what a beautiful morning! With the sky a bright NYC blue, I am in the best mood I could be in on a Monday.

The buildings are beautifully reflecting the sunlight and the tower of the synagogue is shining golden and blue…even the University looks appealing! 

I guess Berlin can be pretty pretty after all. 

There must a relation between Mr. Berlin writing this song and the city I call my home these days.

Have a good day folks!